Really??? Bring it!!!

Okay...  So, it's "musical" time.  As if you didn't already know.  This is "the" week.  Tonight, rehearsal from 5:15 - 7:30.  Tomorrow, tech rehearsal from 7 - 9, Friday, dress rehearsal from 6 - 8:30, Saturday matinee performance at 3, Sunday evening performance at 6.  Okay.  Yes, it's busy.  But this extreme busy-ness is just for this one week.  The rest of the production times have only involved 1-a-week rehearsals, except if you're in the cast as an actor, or in the band, and then it's 2-a-weeks or an extra rehearsal every 3 weeks or so.  The theme of this year's musical is all about evangelism.  It's teaching the children that THEY can be people who are important to God, who can evangelize.  In fact, the lyrics of one of the songs says, "It was kids, who showed the way.  It was kids, who always did obey, it was kids, who showed an awesome faith, it was kids, who lead the world that day."  It speaks of how powerful some of the kids in the Old Testament were in their day.  Such as Miriam, David, Joseph. 

The problem seems to be, that this year, the production keeps having "stuff" happen.  Stuff which I believe is the work of the devil, wanting to throw me, the producer/director off base.  OR, in thinking about it, perhaps it's just that the Lord is putting these obstacles in here to test the strength of mind that I / we, as KCC staffers have.  Let me just list a few of the things I've faced recently in trying to produce this play....
1)  a child dropped out on THE DAY that she was supposed to rehearse her blocking for the scene she was supposed to be in.  Not good.  Her mom didn't think it was important to teach her child the importance of following through on your commitments, and then reevaluating for the next year. 
2)  another child had dropped out, who had the same part as the child listed above, due to soccer.  Then why did her mother allow her to audition???
3)  I can't find anyone to call the cues.  I've gone thru the list. 
4)  One of my kids was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, for who knows how long.  My heart aches for this child and his parents.

5)  The sound system we're working with is not great.  Having a hard time picking up the voices over the band.

6)  One of my lead actors decided to go to California on a college visit the day before dress rehearsal.  He might not make it back for dress rehearsal.  What????  He's a junior in high school.  Just sayin'...  And I'm paying him. 
7)  During our blocking rehearsal for curtain calls, 3 of my main actors couldn't bother to stick around to run this.  What???

8)  Just found out that my bass player can't make it to Thur, Friday or Saturday.  AND, I'm paying him.  Big.  What???

Above all else, these kids DO MATTER.  Their hard work & dedication to this ministry MATTERS.  They deserve the best from us, the adults in their lives.  They deserve every bit as much effort in their play as is put forth by the people who put on the dinner drama productions, or the adult choir productions.  Why does this always feel like such a struggle?

Perhaps I care too much. 

HHHmmmm, What to Plant??

Okay, so the garden is getting a major re-do.  I'm sick & tired of fighting with the clay soil, and it's just too difficult to get a tiller in there, since I have it darlingly picket fenced in.  So...  I drafted The Hubby into making me some raised beds.  Yup.  We are making 4 raised beds that are 18 inches tall, 10 feet long and 2 feet wide.  Then we're gonna make 3 beds that are 18 inches tall, 8 feet long and 3 feet wide.  Those will be my herb beds.  But, what should I plant in the other beds?  Tomatoes for sure.  Heirloom tomatoes.  I'd like to plant a box full of okra.  I LOVE okra.  I'd also love to plant some cucumbers, a watermelon, and some pie pumpkins.  Think they'll take up alot of room?  Julie, if you're reading this, do you think I can train cucs, watermelon & pumpkins to grow up a trellis?  Perhaps I should grow beans?  They grow great on a trellis...  Great idea!  I'll get right on this. 

pics to come soon.

***
and that's my life so far...

Random Happy Thoughts

I suppose after last Monday's "venting" post, I ought to post some happy thoughts. So here goes:


1. Spring is finally here!


2. I need to plant some heirloom tomatoes. FAST.

3. Last night's rehearsal was very encouraging, in that the kids really do know the lyrics.


4. I'm so proud of Meg, for putting together the choreography, and daring to put props in their hands for each song, to use with the choreography. She's handling this very well, and very professionally. Attagirl!

5. Don started constructing "The Net" last evening. It's so cool to see him getting exciting about designing and constructing this video arcade game for the musical.


6. Kenzie spoke in 2 word sentences today. "Bye Bye Elmo." "Hewwo birdie."

7. Lily was all sorts of cute yesterday, in her springtime skirt and shoes.... and she followed me all around church yesterday. Complete cuteness.


8. Christian is in the choir now. And he's freakin' awesome! He's being so grown up!!! And he's actually singing and doing the choreography. Fun times for this Grandma.

***

And that's my life so far...

Venting...

It's "musical" time... and as usual, I'm gettin' a bit stressed. Doesn't help that I weaned myself off of my psych drugs, therefore goin' it on my own. I just wanna cry at about everything. I cry in commercials now. I cry reading cards. I cry when I tell my husband thank you for helping me redesign my garden. I cry watching eaglets hatch on that website I'm mesmerized with... I'm a mess. ***

I hate feeling like I'm stupid. When I have a plan to redo my garden, I don't need to feel like I'm putting anyone out by not being able to do things myself. However, I'm old, or at least, I feel old, and I'm overweight, and I'm not as able to work hard as I used to do. We need to redo the garden, and I need help to do it. I need my herbs and fresh veggies. But our ground is all clay. Not good for growing things. I'm tired of the battle, and of the weeds. So, Don said he'd build me some raised beds. Fine. I just want my perennial / bulb bed to stay the same. Fine. So, we decided to use some of the flagstone to build a mini wall, to make it look like this space is cordoned (sp?) off. To me, it sorta looks like a secret garden. I built the wall yesterday, after arguing with Don about the fact that he didn't think I could get it done in one day. I stayed home from church to dedicate the day to working in my garden, and yes, I was determined to get it finished. And I did. But at the cost of being made to feel worthless. I hate that.

Case in point... I wanted a patio area to be able to put a little bistro table on with 2 chairs, so I could share a good snack or reading time out there with any of my grandchildren. But the problem was that it was in a corner of the garden with a slope. Don had one idea of how to get the patio put in, and I had another. I kept feeling like I was really putting him out, and I didn't like that. I'm sure it was just my non-cymbalta feelings coming into play. At any rate, I ended up scrapping the idea of the patio, instead opting to put the table and chairs anywhere where there was just mulch on the ground and no raised beds. Don did say he'd put in some concrete to anchor a good, level spot for my butterfly garden bench. Give and take. I guess that's what it's about.

Anyway, after the wall building, I ended up taking my shower, and the more the evening wore on, the more my arthritic joints flared up. By the time it was evening, we sat in the hot tub, trying to ease my pain. And yes, lightning was everywhere, and it was pretty scary / awesome sitting out there with the weather happening all around. We did hightail it out of there once the rain started. Which was a good thing, since the hail storm came just a few minutes later. Haven't seen hail like that in years. Very scary... By the time I went to bed, I literally was crying from the pain in my joints. Took 2 aleve and finally slept.

***

Fast forward to this evening. It was time to meet some choir parents at the church to build the stage for our musical. We needed 10 platforms screwed together, among many other things. I have a vision for what I want, and when people argue with me about it, it really frustrates me. I can see that something CAN work, but they say it can't. I'm made to feel like it's just too much trouble. I hate that. I wish everyone could see the vision I see, but that's not possible, nor should it be. We're all individuals, after all. And I'm coping post-cymbalta. My nerves are on edge, and I'm pretty cymbalta-less sensitive. Don't tell me something can't be done! I can see that it can, and I was frustrated. All it took was moving something 1 or 2 inches one way or the other, and it all would have been perfect. Instead, there's a big gap in the flooring. But, duct tape will fix it, and noone will see it. I just know it could have been done right the first time, and noone wanted to be bothered, so it seemed. I don't like to be made to feel like I don't know what I'm talking about. Frustrating, so venting.

But, the stage is put together, complete with the black curtains, children's risers, floor covering, and skirting, and I must say, it looks GOOD. Very professional looking, which is what our kids deserve. And I had several choir dads come to help, which was a huge blessing.

Venting: sometimes when I ask for help from whoever, I feel like I'm putting them out, or causing an inconvenience. I wish I didn't feel that way. I'm not doing this for ME, for crying out loud! I'm in charge of a ministry that enables children to serve the Lord, have fun while doing it, making them feel empowered in their lives, and to me, there's nothing more important. I just wish everyone else felt that way. Non-cymbalta talking. Oy... but, I will NOT go back on it.

***

So, I gained back 5 of the 8 lbs I lost. The last 2 weeks have been hard on my diet, post-gallbladder surgery. And I'm a stress eater. I had potato chips yesterday. Boy,did they taste good! I threw the rest of the bag away today. Yay for me! I'm back on ww again... trying.

***

We've been bearing alot of stress from work lately. Don hasn't taken a paycheck in a month, and I'm a week behind. We can't get customers to pay, and that puts alot of strain on the company. I'm worried about Don. Everyone else seems to be able to get away from the worry & stress, but not Don. He bears the company on his shoulders. He can't escape it. He keeps working through it, and is determined to see this through. I pray alot, as does Don. God will bring us through this time, and He will receive the glory for it.

***

Not the "happy" blog this time, but it is my life so far...